Why are you anxious that you are not able to stop your blasphemy? Is not an acknowledgement of god implicit in your act? Is that not better than being faithless.

Have you not heard of the story of Krishna and Sushupala? Sushupala took Krishna almost for a foe - he despised Krishna,  mocked him and always. But in the same lifetime, Sushupala went to Heaven. Because in doing all these things, he always thought of God