Learning to be

We have to find our reasons and learn to "just be".
Until one day, we will clearly see.
Our reasons may be god, love, relationships, leadership, faith, trust...just anything...or even nothing.

Recognizing Irrationality

Fear emerges from an imagination that there is something to be afraid of. And usually this is about the future. It is ironical that in the absence of alertness we allow ourselves to paint dark pictures of the future that we may not be able to bear. And yet that future is not anywhere except in the imagination.

The 1008 times Penance

Surely we can look at our own lives and see that we often slip in our attempt to practice the values of integrity, sincerity, kindness, non-judgement etc.,

And the kind Muslims spend about 30 days of fasting a year. When we try it we realize it is no easy task. And several other people practice some or the other kind of abstinence or penance.

So why not, look at our pains as natures way to purify us. Surely we see that patience is needed as we endure.
Therefor I being grateful for this wisdom, seek that my spirit expands with patience and loving kindness to home my confusion without judging anything.

Learning from Fear

What is fear other than the mind judging an experience (internal or external) as "not okay". And thus using its power of creativity/imagination to anticipate dark futures.

Haven't we endured fears of many kinds over the years...in the waking state as well as in dreams.
Is not endurance of fear a way to liberation, to fearlessness?

What we need in times of panic/fear is faith, patience and a gentle kindness with which to see ourselves and our suffering. This faith may be in love - that which several others have offered to us selflessly.

And we have to just be because truly, everything that came, must leave.

Gentleness, Patience...

We learn the real meaning, value and nature of Patience and Gentleness when we are confronted with a crisis of the mind. How else can we endure in peace?

Our difficulties teach that in order to endure pain, fear and doubt we need true patience. The analogy given by Shankara that an aspirant must have enough patience as to empty the ocean one cup at a time is a kind reminder.

Our difficulties also teach us that as we see and experience intrusive thoughts of doom and gloom that causes a spike in our disturbing feelings and sensations, we can learn to be gentle with ourselves during the time we are patient.

 

Ramana has said, "Misery is nothing but intrusive thoughts". Further everyone is in search of truth, it is said - some knowingly and some unknowingly. And the search is likened to "a razor edge walk"

Patience:

• It teaches us to endure by being lesser and lesser judgemental of what we are going through
• It simply believes that "everything passes" - even the best of things.
• It trusts in love as god. It believes the impersonal universal friendship of all creatures (remembers puppies).
• It believes it is worth it to endure for the sake of that love/friendship

Gentleness helps us:

• To transition "softly" between our own disturbing thoughts and sensations so that we experience lesser and lesser pain/disturbance
• It helps us to be soft in our inner world with ourselves and slowly bring that softness outside in our dealing with people and things 

 

Offering Presence

With practice that may be painful we can learn to improve the quality of presence we are able to offer to even powerful emotions that entice and make us blind with passion -  a sexual encounter, an orgasm. I was surprised at the quality of sustained attention I was able to offer to the emergence and release of one recently. Both pain and pleasure seems to take us away from the moment. A cold water wash in winter. A warm water bath. In a similar way to pleasure and pain and desire and fear. I have faith that we can offer presence and attention, bit by bit even to very difficult experiences.

Embracing Uncertainity

Often uncertainly and even panic may emerge from our inability to find faith in some ultimate truth that would  make our endurance of pain and suffering worthwhile. When panic sets in, the mind behaves almost like a frightened child - it just wants to flee; it doesn't pause to ponder on the logic that in order to flee, there has to be something that is frightening.

The wise suggest that behind every suffering, pain and fear,  there is a sense of  a "being" that suffers, a "being"  that doubts etc. This is not difficult to understand, for during or days of glory often we have claimed the credit for the glory. The wise refer to this feeling of "I"

They ask us to seek this being by offering it "presence"

 It is also said that  the only thing we are sure of, is of our "being there". And it is for us to be with this "being".
We often have great difficulty seeking this "being". This is all the more difficult  when the mind creates panic, resistance and pain.

In order for the recognition to occur, "that which was imagined to be a snake is only a rope", one has to find the strength to pause...and offer presence. This may take a while, sometimes months. But the starting point for me is taking courage to suspend judgement so I can offer my fears presence.

In addition if we look deeply we find instances and memories of the spirit of friendship of people - often manifesting as selfless acts of thoughtfulness, kindness, simple fun and laughter,  the love of mothers etc. We may journal these instances that our miracles of the spirit, perhaps we can endure for this spirit in all (including lovely little puppies) and even ask the spirit for guidance. For is the same spirit not inside us too?